Dueling Baby Books

I think Mr. Banana has one very important quality when it comes to child rearing that I wish I had - he generally doesn't care what anyone thinks, including the experts. I, on the other hand, have several baby advice books, and am referring to them quite regularly. When Baby Banana doesn't sleep, I read them. When he sleeps a lot, I read them. When he's getting his shots, I read them. When he misses a feeding, I read them. You get the idea.

These books are making me crazy, and I really should stop reading them, but I'm addicted. Dr. Sears tells me that if I don't carry the Baby Banana around with me 24-7 and let him sleep in my bed until he's 15, I'm a terrible parent, but doesn't give any advice for how I'm supposed to stay sane if I never put him down. Baby 411 tells me that I have to get rid of the pacifier (that we weren't supposed to use in the first place) and have him on a sleep routine by 4 months of age, but gives no advice on how to do this. The Nursing Mother's Companion says he's supposed to be eating less frequently by now, but gives no indication if it's normal that he's still eating 10-12 times a day, if this is harmful in any way, or if there's any way to get him to spread it out at all.

Basically, these books make me feel guilty for using a pacifier (even though it seems to be the only way Baby Banana will calm down and go to sleep at night), for having (much less using) a bouncy seat/swing/play mat so I can take a shower or go to the bathroom or answer my email or eat lunch, for wanting to spend time away from my child, for not finding nursing to be a religious experience, etc, etc.

But worst of all, the books never agree on anything. They contradict each other regularly, so I can't even feel guilty consistently.

I know, I know, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Everyone has told me to ignore this book or that book, or all of them. I am fully aware that I should take all of this with a grain of salt and do what's best for our little family. But someone, some rational person, needs to write a real guide for real parents that gives the pros and cons of various styles and lets you decide for yourself, and most importantly, gives you the real-life implications of the decisions you plan to make. Even Baby 411, the most rational of the books, tells you you must do certain things, without telling you what will happen if you don't!

So anyone who has any real world advice about pacifiers, not wearing your baby 24-7, sleep patterns, nursing habits, how to figure out what size diaper your kid should be wearing, please feel free to let me know, or write a book. I'd really like to stop feeling guilty.