Shoes Without Guilt: A Benefit of Working Mommyhood

A stay-at-home mommy I know was telling me recently that she's kicking around getting a job because her husband the breadwinner has been exercising an iron-clad grip over the family pursestrings.

It's an interesting situation. Her earning potential isn't terribly high, and she and her husband decided early on that it made sense for her to stay home with the new baby because, among other reasons, her salary wouldn't be much more than the cost of a full-time nanny. Her husband -- who makes quite a healthy living by any standard -- was always the manager of the family finances, but now that he's the only one bringing home the proverbial bacon, he's apparently gotten quite strict about what she can spend. He literally doles out a weekly cash allowance, reviews every item on her credit card bill and quizzes her about it, and shares very little information about what he's earning or what he's doing with the earnings.

This situation sounds more than a little excessive to me, and I suspect that there's more going on here than meets the naked eye. But I do get the feeling that a significant percentage of stay-at-home mommies need to report their spending habits to their bacon-bringing spouses to at least a certain degree.

That's one thing that can be said for being a working mommy. With gainful employment comes the freedom to buy (several pairs of) shoes on a whim, should I feel so inclined. I don't feel any particular need to rationalize what I spend. We do have melded bank accounts and credit cards, so my husband certainly has the information he needs to offer his views on my spending habits (which he does). But there's a measure of freedom associated with being a working mother -- when I feel a bit fenced in by my harried schedule of work and toddler and errands and and and and, it's nice to know that I can always go buy some shoes with impunity.